“S… sorry,” she said quickly. “It’s funny because… I know exactly how you feel, I mean, um, I don’t have, um, I’m… not very popular at parties either… scintillating conversation with L…L..L… Luna (this was a fake stammer she put on for effect). I’m awful in a crowd, I’d rather be in my quarters… with a book. But um, that’s a whole different… anyway, um… Attention to detail. Yes. It’s a good thing. And…” her manner and speech became more confident here, as she was speaking from a place of psychiatric authority, “…O.C.D. is often less rational. E.R.P. works because you can expose yourself to a fear without large consequence because it is so irrational, and retrain your brain to see there are no consequences from your fear. But in your case, it’s rational. The compulsions are an extension of good practice, but taken further, and ensuring the safety of colleagues is paramount, so it’s hard to simply face them. And you’ve made some good progress too, eliminating the triple check. So that’s good.”

Too many ‘good’s, Luna, the Counselor thought. She became quieter and more professionally intimate when she spoke next.

“Do you have any goals you’d like to hit with your compulsions? C… could you maybe get down to a single check? Would you want to?” She asked.

“I like to read.” It was a personal confession, not one he’d meant to make, but that smile had surprised him. But he was pleased that she seemed to be more comfortable and confident with him now.

“You mean such things as being able to put my pants on in the morning without double-checking they’re the right colour?” He returned the smile. “I’m joking. I’m not sure that I’d be able to get the checks down more than that. With my work, they are an integral part of my process.”

He tilted his head as he thought. He had to give her something. That was how he’d observed counseling to work. It was a back-and-forth. “I am not… impulsive, shall we say? Perhaps that is something to work on.”

Luna considered this from her spot on one of the couches. A compulsion to double check things and be meticulous went hand in hand with a lack of impulsivity. It could be a start in helping Elias train his brain to deal with discomfort in a way his O.C.D. might not normally let him. But how to start?

“Alright,” she replied after her mind had reached a conclusion. “Can you give me a for instance? How would being more impulsive help you to live in a way you want to live as opposed to how things are now?”

He had to think about that for a moment, his expression setting a little. “Perhaps walking a different way to work? I have a set route that, at pre-defined times depending on my duty shift, takes a specific amount of time. Sometimes… I could take the scenic route?”

“It would be a start,” Luna admitted. “Perhaps you could leave a chunk of extra time for your journey and pick the route on the spur of the moment? Or is that too much for one step?” It didn’t seem like that much, but Luna didn’t want to push Elias and lose trust.

He inclined his head, automatically trying to work out the timings on all the different routes he could think of as a cold chill washed over his skin.

“That… might be step two,” he admitted in a low voice, moving to settle the shoulders of his uniform jacket more comfortable. It felt too tight all of a sudden. “I’m aware this must seem ridiculous to you. A grown man not able to change a routine to take a simple walk.”

Luna smiled a lip-closed smile, and shook her head gently, looking at the coffee table rather than at Elias. She couldn’t meet his gaze and say what she wanted to.

“At the Academy, in between my first year training, I had to p…practice getting a distress call off in um, stressful situations. B… because if I get stressed, or s… scared I lose the ability to talk p… a-properly. They wouldn’t let me graduate from the first year until i could go into a random dangerous holodeck scenario and um, deal with whatever I saw and still send an intelligible message.”

Luna looked up at Elias to gauge his reaction. “What I’m trying to say is… N… No it doesn’t seem ridiculous.”

She was stammering. Instantly Elias softened his body language, sitting back and relaxing. “My apologies. My frustration is in no way aimed at you, counsellor. I appreciate your efforts to help me.”

He waited until she looked up at him again. “The first few years at the academy can be tough, can’t they?”

Luna sighed.

“I appreciate the sentiment, b… but… I didn’t think your frustration was aimed at.me. Respectfully, B… Barrington,” Luna used his last name on purpose to add some weight to what she was saying, “you d… don’t understand the pathology of my s… s… stammer so please just ignore it l… like I asked. Can you do that?”

In his concern, he’d misstepped. Elias nodded in answer. “Of course, ma’am. My apologies.”

Taking a breath, he frowned.

“Carving out extra time might be possible,” he conceded, even though it felt like every muscle in his body tightened just at the idea.

Luna detected from his mode of response this might not be ideal as far as Elias was concerned but they had to start somewhere.

“Okay, um, then your assignment f… from Lieutenant Black,” she told him brightly, leaning forward “…is to take a different route to work… is once a week too much? And let me know how you get on the n… next time I see you.”

“Once a week.” He nodded. Okay, that wasn’t too bad. He could do that.

Taking her cue, he stood and offered his hand to shake. “Thank you for your time, ma’am.”

Luna stood too and offered a small but expertly manicured hand with pretty two-tone purple nails to shake his.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Yeoman.” She paused. It was a stammer pause. “I’m always about if you want support.”

”Thank you, and the pleasure was all mine,” he smiled, letting go of her hand. “Pretty colour, it suits you.”

With that, he inclined his head by way of goodbye and left the office. And for once, his shoulders were less tight as he walked.