Tib stood in the center of the bridge, studying the chronal anomaly spread out before the Rubidoux a light hour’s travel away from its stern. They’d deployed a probe into it, but the uninhabited world next to the anomaly had his attention. Their last mission had revealed a world of similar circumstance, and it felt too coincidental they’d happen upon an otherwise impossible phenomenon next to another uninhabited world.

“Mr. Vossk, tell me everything you can figure out about this star system next to the anomaly.”

The saurian’s hands danced quickly across his console as he called up the data the ship’s sensors and pods were bringing in. Tib could see the man’s enormous eyes flitting back and forth as his mind compiled and cataloged everything.

“The system is Theta Arnor. Uninhabited and no record of any civilizations, past or present. The system comprises one M class star, with a class five luminosity index. There are 4 planets and an asteroid belt with ice intermixed. The habitable world, Theta Arnor Psi, is a K class planet. The atmosphere is extremely thin, comprising some life supporting gases but in extremely reduced quantities. Following that is an asteroid field. Then two gas giants. One a brown dwarf, and the other containing heavier elements.”

Tib mused at the solar system layout on the main screen. He pointed to the habitable world next to the star. It was small and distant, but still within the habitable range, if only just.

“Take us to Theta Arnor Psi, Ms. Thorne. I’d like a closer look.”

“Course plotted, sir.”

“Full Impulse. By your leave helm.”

The Rubidoux pushed forward into the Theta Arnor system. As Mr. Vossk had noted, there was little of note about the system. Scarce on resources and devoid of a sustainable atmosphere, Theta Arnor Psi had managed on basic entries and mentions in exploration journals. It was first cataloged by the fleet during its initial sweep into the region.

Tiberius suspected foul play when no mention of the anomaly appeared in previous stellar cartography surveys. The fact this was occurring near an unremarkable and uninhabited solar system felt too similar to the situation they encountered that spawned Alpha. The ship pushed ahead, keeping well clear of the temporal anomaly. As the ship passed by, they could visually observe the probe entering the anomaly pressing in some distance and then reappear at the edge, reentering it.

At his console, Lt. Vossk studied the readings and continued going over it. Muttering and musing as he did. Tib thought he heard the saurian saying “fascinating…” quietly several times.

The Rubidoux fell into orbit near Theta Arnor Psi. Vossk coordinated with his staff to conduct a variety of sensor sweeps and do some basic data crunching. They compiled a close look at environmental volumetric composition.

“Alright Mr. Vossk. Tell me what we’re working with here.”

“Sir, it would appear that whatever caused the anomaly has some kind of anchor point or root on the surface of the planet.”

“Just like the last time.” Lorena mused aloud.

Their previous mission had them pursuing black market weapons being tested on another world. From that mission they’d discovered a completely new lifeform, and lost a starship. Both occupances stemming from the same group with suspected ties back to the Shadow.

“Is it possible to send down an away team?”

Vossk puzzled over the data for a moment, the saurian’s face scrunched up in thought before his head canted at an angle for a moment. “Not without some concessions to safety. I would advise against transporters. It’s too difficult to accurately predict how the anomaly would affect their use. They would also need zero gee suits since the atmosphere is too thin to support life.”

Tib glanced back to Lorena, pointing to her. “Take a team down. Find me evidence they were testing something that caused this.”

Lorena stood fluidly from her seat. “Vossk, you’re with me. Get a team ready. We’ll be heading down in a shuttle. Meet me in Bay One in thirty mikes.”

Both Vossk and Lorena departed the bridge. He glanced to the CONN, “Ms. Thorne. Keep us in a stationary orbit to the planet. Mr. Jel’kan, keep your eyes on those sensors. I don’t want any surprises popping up while we’re investigating this. I’ll be in my ready room for now.”

A chorus of affirmatives rang out, and Tib strode towards his office. As the doors whisked shut, he studied the shiny bronze model of the California class ship model on the wall. His gaze hung on the model a moment longer than he’d intended, realizing he was still trying to get over the loss. He sat down and logged into the terminal on his desk. There was a note from his therapist.

“Captain. I just wanted to take a moment to professionally remind you that your attendance at our sessions, while not an express mandate, is highly encouraged. Your absence from our session last night is the first time you’ve missed a session since we began. I’d like to see if we can’t make some time tonight for you.”

Tiberius sighed. He’d expected this. He wasn’t fond of missing appointments for anything, but this mission had absolute priority. Tib tapped the open channel on his terminal to connect with the counselor’s office.

“Captain. I see you’ve received my message. Can I assume this means you’d like to schedule a make up appointment?”

Tiberius checked the chrono. The away team was scheduled to take several hours at least between prep, traversal, data collection and investigation and returning. Barring any unforeseen emergencies, he technically had the time right now.

“Is your schedule open right now?”

“My door is always free where you’re concerned. I appreciate the unique constraints on time your position creates.”

“We’re in the middle of an away team deployment right now. I’ve got the shift for the next 7 odd hours but otherwise I’m free.”

“You’re saying you’d like to come down now?”

“I am.”

“Then my door is open.”

Tib nodded, ending the call and excused himself from the bridge, placing Lt. Jel’kan in charge of the bridge and to notify him when something happened. Tib took the lift ride down to take a moment and be honest with himself. He knew he used his work as an excuse to duck his appointment. The question was, why?

He wasn’t against introspection and reflection. In fact, he openly embraced wherever possible. That didn’t mean he was always perfect about getting it right, though, and the fact he’d missed an appointment felt like a black mark. Some mistake he’d be unable to fix. Like losing his ship.

He knew it wasn’t right to blame himself for losing the ship. Not after all the reviews and debriefings were done. But he still held himself responsible. Counselor Alaric had been working on trying to get him to understand this wasn’t the case, but in typical Rain family fashion, he was being extraordinarily stubborn on the matter.

He made his was through the deck 7, rounding a bend until he reached the counselor’s office and pressed the chime on the door. The doors hissed open and Tib could see Dr. Nyssa Alaric. Her office was kept extremely well. Adorning the walls were several plaques and degrees. Photos of her with professors and at fleet functions.

“Captain, welcome. Please, come have a seat.”

Tiberius took a seat, getting himself comfortable.

“So, what’s new in your world?”

“We’re studying the development of a new temporal anomaly. I have a strong suspicion based on the evidence so far that it’s possibly related to the technology that we discovered last mission and that there could be ties to the Shadow broker operating in the region.”

Nyssa took some notes, nodding. She was a recent addition to the crew. Command felt having someone aboard able to listen and help the crew work through their feelings about what happened a month and a half ago might help. The last thing command wanted was a bunch of officers developing ptsd untreated, or worse, running off on a revenge quest unfit for duty. Thus far, Tib had taken pride in how well his crew were coping and being diligent with their work.

“That’s quite the development. What are your thoughts on that?”

“Uneasey. I know the crew and the ship are working around the clock to be ready for anything, but I worry that we’re working out way into something way above our paygrade so to speak. I’m not against calling for help, but I don’t want to have anyone else potentially exposed to everything going on.”

He paused, contemplatively. “Still, this is our mission, and if we turn our backs. The odds of someone else suffering as a result is a statistical certainty.”

Nyssa nodded, reclining in her chair slightly get more comfortable.

“Still struggling with feeling responsible?”

Tiberius nodded stiffly with a frown.

“That runs in the family, doesn’t it?”

“It does unfortunately. My mom and my old man both had a habit of self blame.”

Nyssa nodded. “I’ve reviewed both their profiles. Very accomplished veterans. Pretty extensive treatment records for each of them as well. Your father has a pretty extensive history of PTSD, along with some other issues he battled. Your mother as well.”

Tib could only nod. “Yeah. It made for a contentious childhood.”

“How so?”

He shrugged, feeling a little put on the spot to explain. His discomfort spiked a little. “I was the oldest. More was expected of me than Kyle and Erin. The twins got it easy. But me? I was expected to be the second coming of my old man. When it was clear I wasn’t?”

He trailed off, leaving the dissatisfaction of his father unstated, but evidently obvious.

“That couldn’t have been easy. How did you manage?”

“Stubbornly. There were a lot of clashes. A lot of unmet expectations. We’ve spoken about it a little in retrospect. I understand now why things went the way they did. But it hasn’t really done a lot to untangle how it felt going through it.”

Nyssa nodded. “That’s a very valid and rational approach. I want to double back for a moment. You’d mentioned earlier that you were still struggling with feeling responsible for what happened to the ship. We know ultimately that it wasn’t your fault but that you’re predisposed to assigning yourself extra guilt and responsibility. Both by upbringing and because you were the captain. You’ve said that you’re aware of why you think that way, so I’m wondering if you’ve made any ground with addressing that?”

“Addressing it?”

“Mhm. Confronting the thought patterns that aren’t serving you. I’ve noted multiple times in your service history you’re not slow to adapting to situations or confronting problems. Yet this one seems to be a sticking point for you. I was curious if you’d tried anything?”

He sat silently for a moment as his mind worked backwards. Going through every instance, a thing happened, and he blamed himself for it, knowing full well it wasn’t his total responsibility or burden to bear. After a few silent beats he shook his head, either he wasn’t able to see it himself or he couldn’t think of a time he had.

“I’d like you to try this for me. Next time you blame yourself or feeling guilty about the loss of the original Rubidoux since that’s the most recent agitant of your mental health and clearest most example at play, take a step back mentally and ask yourself, What else could you have done? And really thinking about that. You’re an analytical man, Mr. Rain, so I know if you put yourself to it, you could find alternate paths to travel. And here’s the important part. If you find solutions? Follow through. Implement them. But here’s where I suspect we’ll land. You’ll exhaust all scenarios and land on not being able to influence matters beyond where they concluded. When you find yourself there in that space? Forgive yourself. Truly. And then let the matter drop. If it tries to return to you? Deny it. You’ve done all you can, and can do no more. Can we give this approach a chance?”

He nodded finally, after another moment of contemplative thought.

“Yeah. I’ll try that.”

The rest of the sessions passed with Tib exploring more instances in his past dealing with disappointing his father, and the burdens of growing up in a two admiral household and just how heavy the last name Rain was to wear. Eventually, it drew close to the end of his assigned session time.

Nyssa nodded, standing up to shake his hand. “Good. I’d like you to come back next week, roughly the same time, if possible.”

“I’ll see what I can work into the schedule.”

“Good, then.”